Looking Inside

Spending time in contemplation can be painful. While these past few months of solitude and self-isolation have created an abundance of opportunities for me to finally spend time to look inside, I have to admit that I’ve frequently found that I have searched for everything within the realm of possibilities to do except sit down on my meditation bench. You know you’re in trouble when cleaning the toilet bowl is much more appealing than exploring time in seiza!

Looking inside is difficult and emotions arise and then avoidance occurs. We aren’t always taught how to deal with this part of meditation practice. So what do you do when restlessness in meditation practice occurs? I’ve discovered that I am finding a deep sense of joy in my time spent outdoors, walking my dog at nearby parks or meandering into the state forests and game lands. I’ve learned a lot just by being Nature’s quiet observer.

On a recent morning stroll, I noticed a beautiful river birch. While I’ve always observed these trees from a distance, this particular one really drew me in. If you aren’t familiar with this particular species, it has the most incredible cinnamon colored bark, which curls and peels when it reaches maturity. I couldn’t help but think of the analogy we use in Reiki practice of peeling away the layers of things that we’ve been carrying for a lifetime to reveal our innate bright light. The things that always keep inner peace an arm’s length away. Anger, fear, worry, insecurities, pain, trama, hurt . . . and the list goes on.

Nature is a magnificent teacher. The river birch doesn’t stop peeling away – it’s a continuous process throughout the lifetime of the tree. It grows, peels and uncovers and maybe another layer grows over a previously uncovered one. Some parts fully exposed and some still hidden. It’s a process of gentle revealing and there’s no need to rush things; it takes time.

The important lesson is that we find some way to explore our “stuff.” Don’t get me wrong, I get plenty of time on my meditation bench, but sometimes we can find other ways to observe and be present. It’s all about what feels right and natural for you.